{"product_id":"new-home-card-finally-bought-a-house","title":"New Home Card - You Bought A House. Fucking Finally.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey did it. They bought a house.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA beautiful place to call their own, make memories in, and spend the next 30 years paying for. 🥰\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePart of our \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFUCKING FINALLY.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e range, this new home card celebrates the exciting milestone of acquiring an absolutely fucking enormous debt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeaturing a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNew Home Reality Check\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e inside for anyone still under the impression that home ownership is all matching cushions and Sunday mornings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd, because technically the bank owns most of it:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Congratulations on owning your own home.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWell... the bank’s.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for first-time buyers, new homeowners, mortgage victims and anyone who has finally escaped the rental market.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Appropriate","offers":[{"title":"A6 Standard","offer_id":66036272693638,"sku":null,"price":3.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"A5 Large","offer_id":66036272726406,"sku":null,"price":4.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1107\/4302\/8102\/files\/ChatGPTImageSep25_2026_08_49_44PM.png?v=1790365853","url":"https:\/\/inkappropriate.co.uk\/products\/new-home-card-finally-bought-a-house","provider":"Ink Appropriate","version":"1.0","type":"link"}