{"product_id":"retirement-card-youre-retired-fucking-finally","title":"Retirement Card - You're Retired. Fucking Finally.","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey’ve fucking done it. They’ve escaped employment. Permanently.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAfter decades of alarm clocks, getting up when they absolutely did not want to, dealing with people they absolutely did not want to deal with and repeatedly checking how many years they had left until retirement… \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethey’re free.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe front reads:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“FUCKING FINALLY. YOU’RE RETIRED.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCongratulations. You’ve successfully outlived your employability.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd inside:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Enjoy doing absolutely fuck all.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo more Sunday-night dread. No more annual leave requests. No more \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“I can’t, I’m working.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTheir time is officially their own now.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhich they'll presumably spend complaining they're busier than they ever were when they had a job.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBastards.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 😂\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Appropriate","offers":[{"title":"A6 Standard","offer_id":66036688159110,"sku":null,"price":3.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"A5 Large","offer_id":66036688191878,"sku":null,"price":3.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1107\/4302\/8102\/files\/bright_sunlit_shallow_depth_of_field_lifestyle.png?v=1790374785","url":"https:\/\/inkappropriate.co.uk\/products\/retirement-card-youre-retired-fucking-finally","provider":"Ink Appropriate","version":"1.0","type":"link"}