{"product_id":"vasectomy-congratulations-card","title":"Vasectomy Congratulations Card - Snip Snip, No Consequences","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCongratulations. He’s finally done it. He’s taken one for the team. Quite literally. ✂️\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCelebrate his brave little trip to the snipping department with a card that gives his vasectomy exactly the level of sympathy and admiration it deserves.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe front congratulates him on his exciting new life of \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“absolutely no consequences”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e*\u003cspan\u003e — before immediately pointing out that terms and conditions very much apply.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInside, there’s a handy \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eVasectomy Recovery Plan\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e to help him through this difficult time. It covers all the essentials: excessive sofa time, frozen peas, telling absolutely everyone about his swollen bollocks and referring to the whole thing as \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMAJOR SURGERY\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e at every available opportunity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd just when he thinks you’re actually proud of him:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Well done on finally taking RESPONSIBILITY.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOnly taken you how many fucking years?”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRomance isn't dead. His swimmers might be, though.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eContains bad language, questionable humour and absolutely no medical advice 😂\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ink Appropriate","offers":[{"title":"A6 Standard","offer_id":66018622833030,"sku":null,"price":3.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"A5 Large","offer_id":66018622865798,"sku":null,"price":4.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1107\/4302\/8102\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_Sep_25_2026_06_26_36_PM.png?v=1790357228","url":"https:\/\/inkappropriate.co.uk\/products\/vasectomy-congratulations-card","provider":"Ink Appropriate","version":"1.0","type":"link"}