Vasectomy Congratulations Card - Snip Snip, No Consequences
Vasectomy Congratulations Card - Snip Snip, No Consequences
Congratulations. He’s finally done it. He’s taken one for the team. Quite literally. ✂️
Celebrate his brave little trip to the snipping department with a card that gives his vasectomy exactly the level of sympathy and admiration it deserves.
The front congratulates him on his exciting new life of “absolutely no consequences”* — before immediately pointing out that terms and conditions very much apply.
Inside, there’s a handy Vasectomy Recovery Plan to help him through this difficult time. It covers all the essentials: excessive sofa time, frozen peas, telling absolutely everyone about his swollen bollocks and referring to the whole thing as MAJOR SURGERY at every available opportunity.
And just when he thinks you’re actually proud of him:
“Well done on finally taking RESPONSIBILITY.
Only taken you how many fucking years?”
Romance isn't dead. His swimmers might be, though.
Contains bad language, questionable humour and absolutely no medical advice 😂
THE ACTUAL CARD
- Available in A6 Standard and A5 Large
- Printed on premium card stock
- Printed message inside with space for your own questionable handwriting
- Supplied with envelope
- Designed and printed in the UK by Ink Inappropriate
WHEN WILL I GET IT?
Orders placed before 5pm are dispatched the same day. Because if you've left buying the card until the last minute, we're not here to judge. We're here to enable you.
Choose Royal Mail 1st Class or 2nd Class at checkout and the relevant Royal Mail delivery times will apply.
Unfortunately, Royal Mail cannot be bribed by us. We have checked.
CHANGED YOUR MIND?
No drama. Unused cards can be returned within 14 days of delivery for a refund. You'll just need to cover the return postage.
If your card arrives damaged or we've somehow sent you the wrong one, send us a photo and we'll sort it. No arguing with customer service bots required - we're actual humans.
Personalised items can't be returned unless there is a fault, because unfortunately we can't convince someone else that your nan's name is also their nan's name - and trying to would just be mean, even for us!